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[Tuesday
July 10th, 2007] |
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im making a new livejournal just because i dont like this username.
its not ready yet but when it iss ill put up a link or something for people who actually still read these. =]
my brother is living with my dad because to make a long story short hes in a lottt of trouble. so, my house here is pretty much amazing. i love it.
im waiting for my laundry to dry.
Red Is Love
1. Do you love someone? love? yes, in love? nah.
2. Do you believe in love at first sight? no, does anyone?
3. Do you believe in love? yesir
4. Have you ever been IN love? yup.
BLUE IS ANGER
1. Are you currently mad at someone? nope
2. Which of your family members has the worst temper? my brother, probably.
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone? probably, although i cant think of a specific instance.
4. Is anyone mad at you? not that i know of.
5. Have you ever physically hurt anyone when you were mad? mmhm.
6. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell? depends on the situation.
ORANGE IS EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you? nope
2. If you won a million dollars, who would you tell first? mom
3. If you could have anything/anyone right now what/who would it be? well now i have a million dollars on the brain. i have almost everything i want bad enough.
GREEN IS OPINIONS
1. Lower the drinking age? yeah, fuck underage consumptions when youre old enough to sign your life away.
2. Are you against abortion? nope
PURPLE IS Q&A
Q: How many beds did you lay in today?
A: none. i dont think makeshift floor arrangements or futons count.
Q: What color/kind of shirt are you wearing?
A: haha im not.
Q: Name one thing that you did today?
A: ate pineapple pizza for breakfast!
Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
A: twelve cents.
Q: Is your crush on your friends list?
A: haha crush? no.
Q: Look to your right.what do you see?
A: our new landscaping and pretty patio.
Q: What website do you visit the most?
A: facebook/email/livejournal.
Q: Do you have plans for tomorrow?
A: fye
Q: Does anything hurt you right now?
A: im slouching so my back.
Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: yup.
Q: Last time you cried?
A: like a week ago over my bathroom.
PINK IS LAST
1. Movie you watched: transformers!
2. Song you listened to: something lily allen.
3. Person you talked to: in person? justin. online? stephen.
GRAY IS TODAY
1. What are you doing tonight? finish shopping. maybe slumber party.
2. Who are you going to be with? probably justin.
BROWN IS FOR THE FUTURE
1. Tomorrow is: wednesday.
2 Are you going to see someone you like? i see someone i like every day!
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[Thursday
June 28th, 2007] |
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i went to the CAC with lauren monday and i really miss art a lot.
i want to start writing and arting more often, again.
i want to start working out again too, but i keep making up excuses not to like cleaning andddd livejournaling and stuff, haha nice, luc.
my hours this week went from 9.5 to 22.5 because someone broke their foot. so thats good. less than ten hours a week is a joke. plus theres not much else to do all day until like 9:30 at night, anyway. i'm learning how to open and close by myself as a "lead associate" and i think my next paycheck will have my raise on it. neattt.
ive been spending a lotttt of money lately. having money from birthday/graduation and lots of stuff to buy for summer and then school just makes it too easy.
ive pretty much accpeted the fact that im going to have to work while im in college. as long as i get job i like, or at least dont hate, i think it'll be okay.
this was a pointless entry but i dont want to get up and get ready for work yet.
im getting drunk tonight. i just decided.
hotel party in like two weeks?
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[Monday
June 25th, 2007] |
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music |
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icky thumpppp |
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the other day i got a voice mail that sent my chest into my stomach.
i realized that its almost as if my friends and i need to schedule an appointment to see eachother.
im going to start fixing that asap, or as soon as i can figure out how...
otherwise, simons getting worked on soon, i have real shitty hours at work,but will be enjoying the UV rays to make up for it in about an hour.
this is the story of my life, in the summer at least.
in other news, my family likes my new boyfriend and i do too.
today i get to go pick up my drivers license! i slept through my court appearance and when i called them back they just reinstated me over the phone! i was really happy.
now im going to go get starbubcks. i think i have an addiction.
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[Wednesday
June 20th, 2007] |
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Hey remember that time we decided to kiss anywhere except the mouth? |
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my brother and his lack of hygiene seriously makes me want to cry.
i went ice skating today.
i really need to spend less money on clothes/accesories, and more on simon. hes broken afuckingain.
its taking me a long time to read house of leaves and it makes me think and i guess i like it but it seems like 9 out of the past 10 books ive read have been so depressing.
would someone please refer me to a cute book thats funny and somewhat uplifting but not annoyingly girly? i fucking hate chick lit. especially teen chick lit.
i like sleepovers.
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| lately |
[Tuesday
June 19th, 2007] |
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happy |
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i like everything about everything.
edit: okay, thats a bit of an exaggeration.
i like spending money, and being really ridiculous with michelle for long periods of time. i like swimming and/or tanning every day. i like not working much, and i like that simon is fixed. im happy that i am getting aong well with my family lately, and i am happy with justin.
i dont like the wimpy paychecks for not working much, and i dont like how i havent seen some of my friends as much as id like to have, and how difficult it gets to make simple plans ahead of time. i dont like spending money on fossil sunglasses and losing them before i make it home, and im not happy about my aim working right now.
the good things are out-weighing the bad, which are also easily fixable, or so i percieve them to be.
i hope everyone else is enjoying their summer so far as well
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[Monday
June 11th, 2007] |
being an adult and graduated from school doesnt feel much different.
however, college coming up and what it's going to be like and what im going to do and what will happen to me there seems to be constantly running through my head, and it only makes me more and more excited.
but i am glad that i still have over three months before i leave. ive been having a blast with kids from school just doing random things all the time. dance parties, frisbee golf, swimming, sleeping out in our teacher's front yard, camping in the middle of nowhere in adams county, its been fun. right now everyone is doing their christian thing,though, either at camp or on a mission trip. i miss them.
but then thats okay too. ive been seeing the same person everyday for about a week and i dont mind that at all, either. it kind of came out of nowhere and is happening pretty fast, but ive decided to just go with it. because i like how things have gone, so far.
i need to go swimming. it's been too long because ive had this random case of poison ivy all over my legs and i dont like for people to see it... haha
simon is broken. = [
besides those last two thoughts, things are going pretty well.
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| greatness. |
[Sunday
May 27th, 2007] |
i swim or at least lay out EVERY. DAY.
ive decided that the warm drowsy feeling you get in the sun is probably my favorite... ever.
i got a bonus at work for april because we dominated.
i have absolutely no more assignments or exams left at amelia high school.
ill be a legal adult AND an official high school graduate in one week.
my housing stuff for OSU has been sent in.
i got $1250. at the senior awards night.
didnt get that huntington job. it's cool.
ill get more summer time for ME and just work part time when im at school, too. like i said, its cool.
i havent had a boring day for the longest time.
theres more good news im not thinking of, i bet.
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| hi i love life. |
[Monday
May 21st, 2007] |
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today i woke up at 4 in the morning with the worst headache ive ever had. i was screaming and crying and puking for an hour, and then i passed out and woke up at like 6 and felt practically normal. it was weird.
then later today i picnic-ed (again), played football, and went swimming.
swimming for the first time of the year. i had an absolute blast. laying out in the sun puts a good mood into me for at least like, twelve hours at a time.
BUT then i went to work and was crazy busy cause tomorrow is a big new release day. lame. i dont know how im even conscious right now, so i think ill go to bed.
like i said, i love life.
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[Monday
May 14th, 2007] |
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accomplished |
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music |
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decemberists |
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yesterday i went on one of those random cleaning rampages for the entire day and felt amazing.
ive also read though most of the great gatsby, which i like almost as much as the idea of having enough idle time to do just because i want to.
today i used my gift card at michaels, got starbucks for the fourth day in a row, and was in the most amazing mood in the longest time.
i also decided that i want my life to be like a shel silverstein poem.
I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins. awwww. im so retarded.
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| late night update festtt. |
[Sunday
May 13th, 2007] |
so i get off work a little early and this is what i spend my saturday night on.
early mother's day date.
i know, i know. im pretty much a prodigy.
oh and i visited kids at ultimate for like, five minutes. i havent felt awesome lately. oh well.
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| things are going my way again. |
[Saturday
May 12th, 2007] |
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chipper |
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. i won first place staff's pick in the art show and got michaels gift card. even before then, just recieving compliments from various people since i put my stuff up has been awesome. a compliments for my art is possibly the best you could give me.
. my last couple of paychecks have been bigger than ive expected.
. ive got all my housing stuff filled out and about ready to send to OSU.
. the only test i have left is AP chem. which i know i dont have a chance in hell of passing. this does absolutely nothing to stress me out.
. people like jay and dan are home from school.
. i saw/hung out with/talked to like at least billion people tonight. some of whom i havent seen in soooo long. i love that.
. AND im still sleeping in my own bed tonight. aaaah i love that too.
. i found out today that i won the WT PTSO scholarship. pleasant surprises all over the place, right?
"my life is perfect, even when it's not" -ellen degeneres. is that how you spell her lst name? ive no idea.
knock on wood!
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[Monday
April 30th, 2007] |
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i got an interview with Huntington bank for a summer job as a 'customer service representative. aka bank teller. this means i passed the assessment test, and i personally see it as me having a pretty good chance at landing a full time summer job making muchhh more money than at fye.
awesome, right?
no matter how much i complain about it, i like my job, and i almost always have. it will be sad to leave the people there. part of me seriously considers just getting a higher position and working full time at fye over the summer, but i know it would really be best for me to go with the bank job. honestly but unfortunately a new reason with really pretty eyes makes me want to stay, too. hahaha how retarded am i. i know that IF i get the huntington job, i'll take it. it's just going to be really hard to tell brandy my boss/mom away from home.
but hey, maybe theyll just hate me and not hire me and i wont even have to worry about it?! haha who knows.
i have my english IB assessment this week, and then within the coming month, AP history and AP chemistry exams too. I think I'll pass english, maybe even do welldepending on the material in the test. if i get lucky with history i might have a chance, and i feel bad for even wasting the paper that's going to be used for my chemistry test.
I don't plan on doing any hardcore studying for any of them, honestly.
I changed my facebook network to OSU andscheduled my orientation for July 24th and I'm soooo excited.
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| my thoughts on college go as so; |
[Wednesday
April 25th, 2007] |
college will be amazing. no more amelians. no more bullshit "so and so said shit about so and so" and "he/she acted like someone else on the phone/internet" and "you could tell he likes her you see how much they talk online" and "so and so is in his top friends and so and so isnt." etc. etc. no more fucking liars and bitches and assholes and liars. yeah, no more liars. i'm going to dominate all of my classes and not have a job and party some but not revolve my life around it. i'm going to be completely mature in all the right situations and handle myself like a competent young adult. i'm also going to find someone and be engaged by the time i graduate and my life will be at least perfect.
but then i think about things that will go wrong.
i meet all these new people and they all seem sweet, and then after a few months they all start fucking me over. or being stupid. or wasting my time. what if i meet a whole new crowd of people that are exactly like the people i've learned hard lessons from, here? sometimes this seriously scares me so much that i don't even want to go. i feel like i've gotten people here figured out pretty well for myself. i know what i think about everyone from school, work, random meetings, etc. i know if i think they're shitty and why, and i know why i like the people i do, too. do i really feel like going through all that again? im the first one to admit that im completely bitter about how some of my relationships have gone throughout the past few years. and i'm not even talking about dating, for the most part. it's just [sadly] amazing about how people that you feel like you know better than anyone, people you consider to be your 'other half' type of friends, turn out differently than you would have ever thought. you find out that theyll proritize their significant other before you, or that they'll say one thing but feel and do another, or let you down. which leads to finding out that maybe the friendship that you cared so much about wasn't something they needed, too. it's almost like an ugly break up, but it just happens slower and then hits you all at once later. and, it's not like i dont like meeting new people, i do. but it's a lot easier to only meet a few at a time. being constantly surrounded by new people in my life is kind of terrifying. i know, how ridculous is that? being afraid of people you don't even know yet? crazy. it's just so weird to think about how well things could go if i could just hang on to the people i've kept around and found to be dependable. i keep saying how i dont know what my life is going to be like without some of my best friends. i know it will go on, and im probably going to be more upset about it before it even happens. more now than when i'm out introducing myself to a hundred strangers every night, and maybe remembering two or three by the next day. im terrible with names, too. knowing that the drama, and lies and stupid shit continues into college is something that makes me really reluctant, too. i guess it's just one of those things.
ill settle for most of the first scenario and a little of the second, just to be realistic.
this entry is ridiculous long. sorrry.
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| fye funniness. |
[Tuesday
April 24th, 2007] |
yesterday someone called brandy, my manager, and claimed that they felt that i had sexually harassed them.
hahahahahaha.
he said that i winked at him and made him feel uncomfortable. buttt no one good looking had even come in yet that day! haha so i was very confused. and even if i WAS to hit on someone, i'm not one to wink? haha. so brandy and i got a kick out of that, and he never showed up to talk to her about it in person like he said he would, so im assuming it was a prank or something. which is hilarious if someone was trying to get me in trouble because, well, thats practically impossible.
another funny thing about my work, someone took the card from the bin that said "end of punk music" and put it behind fall out boy's from under a cork tree album on the top row, and i wish that i knew who did that so i could shake their hand and maybe give them a hug, because i thought that was very clever.
also, i miss my big brother dion.
today i went and took this test thing for the huntington job i applied for. i was nervous and rushed and ended up finishing wayyy early because i was afraid of running out of time, and it was an electronic one that i couldnt go back and fix or anything so im not sure how i did. i guess it depends on what they define as passing because i have no idea. i really hope i get the job even though it will be sad to leave fye if i do.
im so attached to everyone everywhere, it's terrible, really.
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| prom oh seven. |
[Sunday
April 22nd, 2007] |
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my dress was real uncomfortable. i lost my phone and my hair clip, broke my ring, spilled on my dress in the limo, ate too much, cried twice, and felt really sick by the end of the night. today im dead tired and cant even walk right from all the blisters.
my senior prom was amazing.
i had a blast with everyone the whole time. i was so excited for that dance and i wasnt at all disappointed.
all day was awesome, really. i got a manicure and then a pedicure, too. my feet are real ticklish and i made the man giving it to me mad, i think, haha. my sister came to see me off with her babyyy and that made me real happy.
the limo was sweet, carlo and johnnys was awesome, the dance was a blast, and afterprom was good too. even though i had to nap through part of that.
i can't believe it's april twenty second of my senior year. when did this happen? and all of a sudden the people that lately ive been realizing are my family, and people that i dont know what my life would be like without, are being ripped away from me. graduation is going to be terrible. im sucha cry baby, its seriously going to be like waterworks '07.
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| i pulled it off! |
[Thursday
April 19th, 2007] |
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the art show gave me a huge headache all day, but luckily my brain refrained from explosion and with the help of michelle and lauren i got through it okay. it was actually something i'd consider a success. i made almost 30 dollars more in donations today and i'm going to be donating about 100 total to the invisible children foundation today or tomorrow, and thats an amazing feeling.
in other news, im trying to take things with a grain of salt, but sometimes i feel like im drinking it sraight from one of those cardboard cylinder container things with the umbrella woman on the front.
but only sometimes.
you know what im talking about?
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[Tuesday
April 17th, 2007] |
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beautiful world - colin hay. |
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scott asked me to prom when he got home from north carolina sunday and it was funny and im exciteddd.
my mom said it's so 'appropriate' and i pretty much agree.
bestfriend dates are the way to go.
even though he tried to tell me he got a brown tux.
im really just excited about prom in general. as ive mentioned in i think every entry in the past month or something, haha. party source visit thrusday!!!
im surviving the first week back after three weeks off pretty well, if i do say so myself. i mean, getting out of class for about a dozen reasons over the course of the week might have something to do with it, but oh well.
today i went to dinner with my dad. he gave me money for prom and we proceeded to talk about how people today are all fucking crazy.
things like the virginia tech massacre are things that i will hopefully never be able to wrap my head around, because hopefully i won't ever be closely, personally effected by something like that. it's hard because it seems like one of those situations where everyone seems so helpless, even now after it's over. it's like, what are you supposed to do to prevent something like that? i mean, treating people more decent is something i can do, but i dont know how one person could go about changing an entire attitude of a community to fit every individual living in it. obviously people like that aren't in a stable mental condition anyway, so maybe even that wouldn't matter. maybe the next step is to develop a wack-o-meter and just scan people, looking for crazies every once in a while. i'm not trying to make a joke out of this, but really, it's just like, what could anyone have done? what can we do now? it also sucks how things have changed so much even since columbine so that it's obviously an even worse disaster, but we aren't near as surprised. it's like the entire world is so jaded to violence, even within our own environments, and that says something for itself right there.
...
on a more uplifting note, i'm real excited for my art show thrusday, even though i have a lotttt of work to do to pull it all together. i'm confident about it, though.
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[Friday
April 13th, 2007] |
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figuring some things out.
an avril lavigne song helped and thats so embarassing but im going to be honest.
lately ive made myself look really stupid; but i think if i had the chance to go back and hide my feelings and act like a hard guy, i wouldnt.
i know what i need to do, it's just a matter of execution.
today i cashed and spent a paycheck in no more than... three hours? terrible, i know.
since im working every day this week, my next one will be really good.
BUT it wont last through the weekend, either.
thanks prom =]
oh well. thats life as a senior, i guess.
ive applied to two full time jobs and don't feel all that confident about either.
ive gotten everything i wanted to get done over spring break. except, of course, my homework. theres just always something else to be done that i'd rather do, like dishes or errands or... livejournal updates? hah. shit.
i don't go out anymore. at least not like i used to. ive been so hell bent on sleeping in my own bed lately that it doesnt matter. most things are going pretty well. and i'm confident that those that aren't, will be soon. im keeping my chin up. i mean, its not like anyone else is going to do it for me.
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wow_i_hate_ljs's journal
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